Nef

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Scariest Thing Ever

I’ve been living in terror for the past couple of weeks.  Symptoms include waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, my mind wanders when I’m getting instructions, I tell everyone my problem, and no one seems to have a solution.

Dang it people!  I’m going to have a girl-baby-thing!  This is serious!  Finding out “Scout” is a girl was a pretty interesting experience.  At first everything was hunky-dory, watching the ultrasound I didn’t see the bits that I was looking for and knew that Tami was happy.  Yay!  Grandma’s were happy, friends were happy, Jake was happy, so I was happy.  For about 5 minutes.  Since then, the sweating.

I grew up with a bunch of boys.  I have 3 brothers.  They’re awesome.  I have 1 sister — also awesome (waddup Mel) — but I went to college when she was 9.  Which I understand, means I missed the truly scary part of female development.  I’m trying to say, I have no idea how to be a Dad to a girl.  And to top it all off, my brother-in-law started giving me a hard time about only batting 2 for 3 (which he said will still get you in the hall of fame).  The only thing that I could think of was, “yeah we’ll see who’s laughing in 10 years”.  Wait.  The shaking started then.  Teenage girl, hormones, girl stuff, makeup, boy hormones…  So do I start my gun collection now or in a couple years?

When I’m not waking up with cold sweats about a teenage “Scout”, I’m usually having nightmares about losing my sight.  Macular Degeneration runs in the family — particularly with the blond hair/blue eyed ones — and Tami thinks that I’m completely paranoid.  So now I present to you, me in a couple of years.  This following clip is just awesome.  It appears to be a high school play about Helen Keller.

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Brent

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Comments

9 responses to “Scariest Thing Ever”

  1. Kurt Avatar
    Kurt

    Rachel just sent me this post. I’m assuming it’s because she knows that I can relate. Yeah – girls are down-right scary as teenagers and it doesn’t help that they’re cute as anything when they’re little… I mean, how am I going to bring myself to installing the bars and external locks on Kelsie’s door when she hits “that age”? And yes, every girl should come with their own shotgun and instructions on intimidating cocky teenage boys.

    It must be the year of the Girl or something. Jerry’s always said he only produces “manly babies” and here he is with a little girl after his first 3 boys. Kelsie comes in less than a month now. Guess the boys just prep us up for the big show.

    Reply
  2. Tami Avatar
    Tami

    Oh my dear husband- I find it so endearing that you are so afraid of having a girl, because I know what you really mean is that you are going to be so in love with her that you are afraid that she will completely walk all over you. Which – let’s face it- she probably will. But maybe we’ll get lucky and she’ll be like you as a teenager – easy going and never giving her parents any grief. But more than likely she’ll be like me – lots of ATTITUDE and a mouth like you wouldn’t believe at the age of 14. I’m confident she’ll grow out of it though – I did, right?

    And that Helen Keller clip is awesome. If you ever really are that blind I will lovingly lead you around by the hand – instead of rearranging the furniture like we used to do to our blind dog. So cruel and sick – but yes, funny.

    Reply
  3. Brent Avatar
    Brent

    You already rearrange all my stuff. The only difference when I’m blind is that I’ll be used to it.

    Reply
  4. Melanie Avatar
    Melanie

    Brent you are awesome! You were right, I did like this post. And I definitely enjoyed it when I got bored in my finance class. I’m sure you will be a terrific daddy to a little girl. The guys in our family are awesome. And dad totally understands where you’re coming from-he didn’t have much girl experience before he had to deal with me and I love him! Anyway have a terrific day!

    Reply
  5. Ryan Avatar
    Ryan

    Dear Brent,

    You… are a pansy. Get over it.

    Being the well-seasoned parent of a daughter (after all, it’s been an entire year!), I feel uniquely qualified to give you some advice: Your wife is right. Your daughter is totally going to own you. For evidence of this, do some google searches for daddy-daughter songs. Then try googling mommy-daughter songs. The ratio is like 50-1. Oh, and whatever you do, don’t listen to this song. You’ll be a wreck.

    Good luck dude.

    Reply
  6. Yami Avatar
    Yami

    Aww- This is great.. No worries Brent, no guns necessary.. 1st round of defense will be Jake and Daniel 🙂 You will be a terrific father, but I do agree with Tami. Your little girl will have you wrapped around her fingers. No doubt about that! 😉

    Reply
  7. Barbara Cox Avatar
    Barbara Cox

    Brent
    You are one of the best son-in-laws a mother in law could ever have! That was so fun to read. You are almost just as good a writer as Tami! I always smile when I read your items!! Better start preparing for the wedding of your daughter–cause that is really hard for Dads!

    Reply
  8. Alan Tong Avatar
    Alan Tong

    Brent,

    As the father of three beautiful and amazing daughters I have learned that dad is the background item in raising girls. The reason there are so many mommy-daughter songs, and so few daddy daughter songs is that the female of the species will always relate more to the female parent. They endure the same problems. (i.e. the male of the species who thinks he understands the female of the species.) Dad is there when required as a taxi, a banker, a protector (The latter not always appreciated) and other roles as defined by the female of the species.

    They do melt your heart, and at times wrap you around their little fingers, but the good thing is that we have already had previous experience with their mothers.

    The main role comes in providing for the wedding. In that, though, you only have to ask two questions. The first is “How much?” The second is “HOW MUCH???????????”

    I promise you great blessings, and many special moments. I know it because I have walked that beautiful road.

    Reply
  9. Jeff Avatar
    Jeff

    lets go gun shopping for christmas!! I need/want one too.

    Reply

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