Tami left the kids with me on Friday. Actually she left the kids with me the whole weekend, but Friday I was all alone with 4 kids, (Getting my good deed for the year out of the way — I agreed to watch Tyler and Wendy’s brood because my job is so much more awesome than Tyler’s and I get Fridays off… Which got me a day of babysitting… Yeah I know, but normally it’s pretty awesome). Now, it’s an established fact that the kids are all perfect angels 100% of the time, and while I didn’t expect much trouble, I kept a running diary of how things went down just in case. I needed proof that if one of the kids went missing mysteriously, I was actually paying attention.
9:27
Tami would have liked to have left earlier, but I was still getting instructions on what to do with all the kids. At this point I found out that the kids wouldn’t need their diapers changed until after their naps. Wendy expressed some regret that Isabelle would also need similar treatment. I think that Tami was trying to get me some on-the-job training for a girl.
10:34
They just left. Danny wins the pool for first meltdown. Interesting sidebar: Jake also had a meltdown relatively quickly, Isabelle kind of had one later in the day, but I don’t really blame her, see below, and Isaac basically is so level-headed I think we need to put him in charge of the Federal Reserve. End sidebar. Danny talks to Mom, and Jake is placated with promise of video games for good little boys.
12:28
Lunchtime. Who isn’t happy at lunchtime?
1:38
They’re mostly in bed. Jake slept on the old crib mattress on the floor. Danny wanted to sleep on the floor next to Jake, which I objected to because the layer of toys obscured any carpet he could lay on, and Isaac took the top bunk. Took awhile for them to stay quiet. Isabelle cried for a couple minutes and then was quiet. I believe she was actually sleeping at this point.
1:55
Jake’s done with his nap (that’s what he says). I disabused him of this notion and he returned to his mattress.
2:38
Jake and Isaac are talking and having a grand old time. I let them go downstairs to watch “Leo the Lion” so they won’t wake Danny. Isabelle has made a couple of crying fits off and on every 15 minutes. Didn’t think much of it. Ten minutes later when she makes some more noises I go in to check on her. She had a party. Through some ninja tactic, Isabelle reached over the edge of the pack-and-play crib, across a four foot chasm, and found Tami’s crafting supplies (being mainly markers and glitter). Somehow the markers wound up on her face, hands and feet, it appeared her clothes were unscathed, but the pillow received some collateral damage. Clean up was not as bad as I initially feared, but there is some glitter in the carpets around the house still. The coolest thing was the amount of glitter on her feet. I don’t know if the marker ink helped it stick or what, but it’s like her feet were covered in scales of glitter. Took some scraping to get it off. Isabelle did not seem fazed by the scraping or the vacuum cleaner.
Ummmmm
That was the last entry to my alibi journal. For all I know I just passed out until Tyler showed up later that night. So much for the alibi journals effectiveness, but all the kids were breathing (whew!) and from what I could tell reasonably healthy when they left my care.
To recap: the boys all took care of themselves. They ran around shooting, knifing and pillaging, all fine endeavors for young lads. That left Isabelle and I to hang out and I came away with an impending sense of doom. If I ever have a little girl… Well, let’s just say that Tami better pick up the slack on the stern side, because this hypothetical girl will be able to walk all over me. This realization mainly occurred when Isabelle made a mess. I didn’t even think to get angry — so that’s either because A.) girl or B.) not mine, but I’m leaning towards A.
Instead of anger, my only thought: Wow, she’s gonna make a great ninja.
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