Since attending Kaci’s funeral, where I saw my brother speak with such a fire, and her kids move forward with such a faith – I’ve been truly inspired. I’ve been trying each day to love the road I’m on a little more, and remember where it leads. The last two months have taught me a brutal lesson in how fragile we are, how quickly things can change, and how little control we have over this crazy thing called life. Two separate friends from high school died suddenly and tragically, my sister-in-law passed away and left her six kids, and another friends’ little boy was diagnosed with leukemia.
What gives?
And yet the seasons change, my kids still scream and fight, and the car needs repairs. Life goes on! But I feel a greater sense of appreciation for EVERYTHING… from the three pounds I finally lost, and the five I gained back; to our endless list of chores and to-do’s; my kids’ never-ending appetites; and even my husbands’ stinky basketball shoes that are always lying around the house. I kind of realize now that I am lucky to have it. ALL of it.
So, while I still yell at my kids way too much, loose my temper, and desire to run away on a fairly regular basis – I’m trying to enjoy them a little bit more and just be. Ya know? It’s not the end of the world if they leave their clothes on the floor, get toothpaste all over the counter, or do a shoddy job making their bed. I’m trying to play with them more – like really PLAY – because at this age, that’s all it takes to make them feel loved. Well that and a good snuggle. Sad, but when I ask Jake if he wants to play a game with me, his whole face lights up. Which tells me I don’t do it nearly enough.
In the last few weeks we’ve played Memory, hide n’ seek, Hungry Hippos, Legos, and tinker toys together. We’ve brewed potions in the backyard. I helped Jake build a big contraption he was trying to make from a milk carton, shoe box, wrapping paper roll, and ping pong balls. (Normally the type of thing I’d roll my eyes at.) I’ve been trying to read and sing to each of my kids more. We have dance parties. We’ve made cookies a few times where I actually let them help. And today we all went swimming together. And it was fun!
I’m so thankful to be alive. To have a big, loud family full of kids. To live in Southern California where the sun is always shining. To have friends that I love. To have a strong and healthy body. To have a husband who takes such good care of me.
Life is sweet. Thanks to Blue Lily for showing it in these pictures.
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