Many of you who follow this blog will remember my sister-in-law Kaci. She is married to my brother David, is 34 years old, has SIX beautiful kids ranging in age from 3 to 12, and for the last two years has been fighting a valiant fight for her life.
I’m so sad to share that on Monday, March 7th she passed away due to small cell lung cancer. She was in the comfort of her home and surrounded by her family when it happened. While we are all heartbroken to have lost her, and heartbroken for David and the kids especially, we are also happy and relieved that she is no longer sick, no longer in pain, and able to watch over us all from above. We know we will see her again.
Words cannot express how special Kaci was, or how much of an impact she had on our family. I have never met a more positive or grateful person in my life. She had enough faith to move mountains. And with the way she changed my brother’s life for the better, I kind of feel like she did.
Watching Kaci endure this trial with such grace and such trust in the Lord has changed me forever. I know that I will never complain quite as much. And I will always remember that I have a choice in how I live my life, and how I respond to whatever comes my way. Kaci said it best in a talk she was asked to give at her Stake Conference last year. Please take a moment to read it:
“I have a question that I want you to think about – do you love the road you’re on? I heard that in a commercial a few weeks ago and have been thinking about it ever since…
The Lord loves us. He wants us to be just like Him – full of joy and happy. So how do we do that while we are going through this mortal life with all the trials, the tribulations, the sorrows, the suffering and all the negativity around us? Lehi taught: “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they MIGHT have joy.” – 2 Nephi 2:25…
I thought it interesting that the word “might” was in that sentence… Might is a word that is used to express possibility. It’s a CHOICE – We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be grumpy. We can choose to appreciate the experiences that we have here or we can choose to be angry about them and “kick against the pricks” and fight against things…
Many of you know that 9 months ago I was diagnosed with a pretty nasty form of cancer. Talk about an opportunity to prove myself. I have had lots days where I wake up in the morning and think, “Why is this happening to me? I was good. I went to church. I have a big family with lots of children that I am supposed to take care of. I have a testimony.” But I learned that that kind of an approach didn’t accomplish very much and instead, I have tried to remind myself that I am going to be able to make it through this trial with the help of my Heavenly Father.
It’s not really about the trial, you see – what the trial is and what it means for us here and now – it’s about how we approach it, how we deal with it and how we decide to feel about it. I decided after I was diagnosed that I wasn’t going to let this get me down. That even though I was not supposed to beat this, I would live with it for as long as I live… and that I would be happy during that time, that I could be learning things, that I could teach my children many things that they might not learn another way. Certainly I wouldn’t have chosen this path. I would have preferred to have a nice easy straight road, but then where is the faith? How would I learn those things?
Think about how it must have felt up in the spirit world when Heavenly Father said, “I would like you to go down and I would like you to experience life.” And we cheered. We knew there would be trial and temptations. We knew there would be terrible things that we would have to go through, but we cheered. We were excited.
We can have those same feelings here and now when we are going through trials. We can love the road we’re on and remember where it leads. Our trials help us to remember Him, they turn our hearts to Him, they give us a nudge in the right direction. As we remember this: that He loves us and wants us to be happy, and that He sends us these trials so that we can grow and become more like Him, we can learn so much more from the trials that we encounter. We can learn to be more patient, more kind, more generous. We can learn to love more. We can learn to trust Him and our faith will grow in amazing amounts…”
Life is precious! Even when it seems difficult or unfair. Heavenly Father loves us, even when He tests us. And with Him, all things are possible. Kaci taught me that.
Please read more about Kaci, her battle against cancer, and how you might be able to help her family at http://helpdavidcoxfamily.org/
Feel free to let her light continue to shine by sharing her story with family and friends. You can link to the website above, or to mine, using Facebook, blogs, etc. Thank you.
Tami, I am SO sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you and your family must feel… especially your brother and his kids. I wish I could hold each one of them and tell them how much Heavenly Father loves them, despite how they may feel. She sounds like she was is an amazing woman and what a sweet reunion they will have in heaven. You’re all in our prayers.
I am picturing Kaci watching how much love is pouring out over her family and how happy she must be to see a community supporting them. I have been inspired by her story and I know her life was fruitful and did not end Tuesday.
My kids have gotten used to Kaci and her family being a part of our prayers and they still will be.
Tami, thanks for sharing her story through your testimony on Sunday and your blog. It’s great people like her who are open about a trial in their life and allow others to learn and grow from it. Even though I didn’t know her, I can tell by her words in her talk and yours that she was a wonderful woman and example to all those who came in contact with her. Your family will be in my prayers.
I am a friend of Susanne’s and she shared this with us. My love and prayers are with all of you at this time of great loss.
I, too, have walked the road of cancer. I am blessed to be in remission for two years now. The lessons to be learned though are universal. Be grateful, live with joy…endure to the end, but gratefully, joyfully 🙂
Thank you for reaching out through your pain to remind us all yet again.
Much love <3
Tami, this is such a touching post. It really changed my whole day. What an amazing, (albeit sad as well) experience to witness and learn from. I felt privileged to read her words..Thank you for sharing.
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